You are the ocean, and I'm good at drowning.

You get up and get dressed with the idea already implanted so deeply into your beautiful mind that no matter what you do to ready yourself for the day ahead, you will never be good enough. You will never fit in. You’re worthless. You’re fat. Ugly. Stupid. A failure. Only, you are trapped in a mind set so terribly wrong and upsettingly untrue, and I cannot express enough how much that breaks the entirety of my being. I sit here, with tears in my eyes as I write to you. Unbeknownst to you, you have saved my life on so many different occasions, that I will never be worthy of you. If it weren’t for you I would have ended my life so long ago; I so often do not see the beauty in the world that you have the ability to see. You see beauty in all things, good or bad, like the true artist that you are. Ironically enough, the only thing you are unable to do is find the splendor in the most radiantly captivating thing of all things— yourself. You are one of the few who understand my discontent with the human race, so extreme that I am unable to connect fully with most individuals. If you were the monster you have created inside your brain, I wouldn’t love you like I love you. And I love you. I love you. I love you. I only keep people in my life who I’ve deemed to be worthy enough to be there in the first place, and baby, you’re at the top of the chain. You of all people know that you don’t need to be a size two to be gorgeous, and that’s just what you are and so, so much more. You’re stunning Christina. An angel with a dysmorphic haze between your eyes and the mirror. You mean the world to me and I don’t know what I would do in this world if you weren’t in it. So smile that perfect smile, baby girl. Never hurt your beautiful self again. 

With love,

Ciara